How to Change a Limiting Belief
What is a Limiting Belief?
A limiting belief is something you believe about yourself that holds you back from being your highest, most authentic self. These beliefs are held as concrete truths in your mind and you are constantly looking for evidence to prove them right, whether you know it or not. I also like to call limiting beliefs “arbitrary rules”. They are a set of rules that keep you in a box, unable to freely express your true self. Some examples of limiting beliefs are:
I am not good enough
I am only as valuable as my productivity
If I am ______, then I am loveable (insert thin, attractive, smart, hard working, successful, etc.)
I could never achieve what I really want
I’m not smart enough
I don’t have enough experience
Other people are better than me
I will never be safe and secure
These thoughts emerge in childhood and during brain development. After enough repetition, they eventually wear a groove into your neural pathways (or brain connections). This creates a pattern or set of beliefs that you hold about yourself and it is how you see the world. Your parents, family, friends, and the society or culture you grow up in helps shape the way you see yourself and your place in the world. Having limiting beliefs is a very human thing to experience and every person on earth has them. Fortunately, you can adjust the limiting beliefs you hold about yourself with practice and repetition. The goal is to reshape the way you see yourself in a less limiting way so that you can be the best version of you!
Using Mindfulness to Shift Your Limiting Beliefs
Mindfulness is an amazing practice that has many applications. One of my favorite ways to use mindfulness is to explore my mind with non-judgmental curiosity. Just like everyone else, I have a solid set of limiting beliefs that feel very real to me, even though I know that they are not true. Growing up in a chaotic environment left me with deeply held limiting beliefs about myself and my value as a human. When I practice mindfulness, I can observe these thoughts and not judge them as “good” or “bad”. They are just a thought that flits through my head and has no bearing on who I am as a human. This practice gives the limiting belief less power over me, turning it more into a novelty than a concrete truth. Here is a simple 5-minute mindfulness exercise you can practice every day for 7 days:
Have pen and paper beside you
Get in a comfortable position, sitting upright or lying down
Set a timer for at least 5 minutes (Insight Timer is a great mindfulness app, and it’s free)
Place one hand over your heart, one hand over your belly
Take 3 deep breaths, in through your nose and sigh out of your mouth
Return to normal breathing, placing your focus on the sensation of your breath going in and out
If your mind wanders, observe the thought without judging it, then let it go. Imagine the thought is a leaf in a stream floating by and eventually disappearing
When the timer is up, write down what limiting beliefs came up for you
Practice this for 7 days. Do not try to change it, or force anything out. Try to just observe what happens with curiosity and see what comes up for you. You may be surprised what you have hidden away in your brain!
Create Affirmations to Replace the Limiting Belief
If you want to to take this practice one step further, you can work to replace the limiting belief with a positive affirmation or mantra.
After you have completed the first 7-day mindfulness practice, pick one of the limiting beliefs you wrote down. You can choose the one that is holding you back the most, or an easier one to start off with. There is no right or wrong way to do this, this is an explorative experiment into yourself with no expectations or judgement.
When you’ve chosen the one you want to work on, pick a positive affirmation or mantra that is the opposite of your limiting belief. Some examples include:
I am whole and complete just as I am
I am a good person
I have gifts and talents that are uniquely my own
I will not be held back by fear
My body is a safe and secure place
I am loveable just as I am
I am inherently valuable
My worth is not connected to my productivity
Once you have an affirmation or mantra, go into your mindfulness space where you are seated or lying down with your hands on your heart and belly. Set a timer for at least 5 minutes and take 3 deep breaths. This time, instead of focusing on your breath alone and letting your thoughts pass by, hold onto your mantra or affirmation as a focal point. When your mind wanders, gently bring it back to your mantra without judgement.
Do this as often as you need to. Revisit your list of limiting beliefs and work through it at your own pace. As new limiting beliefs emerge (and they will), you will have the tools to work through them from a place of self-compassion. Try to remember that this is not a race or a contest, you are not going to get rid of all of limiting beliefs overnight. It is a lifelong journey. Even after years of practice, I’m still working through my limiting beliefs with new ones popping up and old ones resurfacing in surprising ways. Also, there is no way you can mess it up so try not to be intimidated. Have fun with it and enjoy the process of self-discovery!
If you try this on your own and feel you need some support or you want to explore your limiting beliefs even further, working with a Board-Certified Health Coach can take your inner work to the next level. Just schedule a free consultation with me to see if we are a good fit for each other.
